Verify but Trust (Your Judgement)
The Russian proverb, “trust but verify,” became a signature phrase for President Ronald Reagan when he was dealing with — you guessed it — the Russians. I thought of that line when I read a recent news account about an arranged marriage in India where the bride wanted proof that her husband-to-be wasn’t illiterate. She asked him a simple enough question before exchanging vows: What is 15 plus 6? The grinning groom answered 17. Wedding over.
While I feel sorry for the groom, I think it was best they called the whole thing off before he started wreaking havoc on the family finances.
But kudos to the bride for acting on her instincts. I’m sure she was excited about her wedding day and the 36-hour blow-out party to follow, but that relationship was destined to go down for the count, if you get my drift.
Makes you wonder…
Was there really a time when arranged marriages actually worked out? No questions asked.
When someone’s word alone was their bond? Forget about the Google Search.
When a firm handshake was the next best thing to a promise? No hand sanitizer required.
(When 15 plus 6 was 17…?)
Today’s commitments are becoming more and more data driven. It’s all about the analytics.
We need the stats.
The sales revenues.
The profit and loss statement.
The credit rating.
The cost of doing business.
Engagement studies.
My accountant always told me: The numbers don’t lie.
He also said they tell a story (dry as that tale might be).
Unless you’re cooking the books, the number story is very quantifiable, verifiable. Cut and dried.
But decisions made by the numbers alone aren’t always foolproof.
Fortunately, there is that other human emotion that plays into decision-making.
Trust. The belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective.
That’s what made the Indian bride’s instincts kick in. It was a feeling (in her case, mistrust) that something wasn’t quite right. So she (literally) put her suspicions to the test.
Trust is a beautiful thing and is at its best when cultivated over time. A history of trust makes a compelling narrative.
But there will always be times when you need to go with the gut, make the call. The analytics are often only part of the story and your instincts are required to complete the picture and close the deal.
It has been said that the only way to make someone trustworthy is to trust him or her.
And that requires, first, trusting your own judgement.
Anita Alvare (bio)/Alvare Associates/610-520-6140
Comments (1)
04.01.2015
Joan Emmi
Always enjoy your comments
Happy Easter to you and your family